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Jokes: New Words in Oxford Dictionary! superhero 2006-09-05
Divorce:
Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end; a fool on the other.

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he
got the biggest piece.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine water power...

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

Conference room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.

Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:
A person who, while falling from Eiffel Tower, says midway "See, I am
not injured yet."

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills


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