Divorce:
Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end; a fool on the other.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he
got the biggest piece.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine water power...
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Conference room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.
Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist:
A person who, while falling from Eiffel Tower, says midway "See, I am
not injured yet."
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
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