If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other
married
couples..and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married,
keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one
eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to
someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem
make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you
can change someone or that what you see as
faults aren't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their
flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet pee ves, and differences will
become more obvious. If you love your mate and want
the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to
learn to close one eye and not let every little thing
bother you.
You and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and
strengths. You are two unique individuals who have
decided to share a life together. Neither of you are
perfect,
but are you perfect for each other?
Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you
compliment and compromise with each other, or do you
compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to
the relationship? Do you bring past relationships,
past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or
her. You can't make someone love you or make someone
stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual
discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself
making someone else responsible for your happiness or
responsible for your pain.
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,
healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the
wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a
relationship strong? Communication, intimacy, trust, a
sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway
time without business or children and daily exchanges
(a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a
note). Leave a nice message on their voicemail or send
a nice email. Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each
other, giving each other space to grow without feeling
insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest.
You can't always be together. Give each other a sense
of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try
to control one
another.
Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or
her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities
are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty,
and pain replace
the passion.
" Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will
never go any higher than you think." The grass
withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands
forever.
Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight? Always
to try to be a little kinder than is necessary.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where
you put the "i".
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
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